Double team: The Glory Of...Pt. 1

I gotta tell ya, this is your lucky week. Not only is the Juice hittin’ ya with a "The Glory of…", but, I’m hittin' ya with 2 of them. Yea, you read that right. Go ahead. Go ahead. Take a moment to shove those peepers back into the ol noggin.

Know what? Ya better hang on a sec. Don’t shove those peepers back just yet. Cause, not only are ya gettin’ two "The Glory Of’s", but they’ll be 2 days in a row. No shit! Do ya feel like you’re gonna throw up from all the excitement? If ya do, you’re a bigger loser than I thought.

I gotta tell ya, the Juice took a serious beatin’ on my last The Glory of.... From the amount of email I got, ya think I did a The Glory of Madeline Albright. God forbid ya don’t talk about the Olsen twins or Britney Spears. I’m just tryin’ to expand your rather limited horizons. And what does the Juice get for his efforts? I get the beat down. Gee, thanks. I can't wait to see who you come up with for your The Glory Of. Oh, that's right. You don't have the nuts to do a The Glory Of, let alone keep up an entertain' blog. You've got better things to do, right? Can't miss The King of Queens. What would life be like if you did?

But, I digress…

I know. I know what you’re thinkin’. You’re thinkin’: “Why the Juice? Why two 'The Glory of…'?” For once, a good question. The Juice had no intention of doin’ 2 “The Glory of…”. But, two different gals vied for the Juice attention within a couple of days. And rather than choose between the two, like any good soldier, I figured we’d do both of them at the same time. Well…almost the same time. So, without further ado, I present the first half of our double header, the top piece of bread to our sandwich, and an all around sexy piece of ass…



Elizabeth Shue!


So, why Ms. Shue? Yet another fine question. The missus and I were watchin' a horrifyingly bad move called Hide and Seek. I gotta tell ya, if I was a producer of the movie The Secret Window, I might well consider a lawsuit against Hide and Seek. Cause the words "rip off" come to mind. But, hey I don't want to sway ya or anything. Check out the movie. See how much it sucks.



I’m watchin’ this movie, and here comes Elizabeth Shue. Dang! She’s walkin' around with a flimsy lil number on. Nice, right? She kinda turns to the side. Then, Wham-O! There it is. She’s got some serious cleavage! The Juice scrambled to find the remote. I quickly paused the movie. “Hol lee shit.” I believe I said to myself.


yea…check out that cleavage

The missus was totally clueless, for a few moments, that is. She asked what was wrong. You know...Why had I paused the movie. I blathered on about hearin’ somethin'. In the meantime, I stared at that cleavage til it was burned in my mind. There was no way on the Christ's blue planet I was lettin’ this image get away. I told the missus I would be right back. As I’m racin’ up the stairs to the bathroom, the missus calls out: “Brewster, are you going up there to crank off to Shue?”



“Damn it!” I said to myself. How’d she know? Maybe I had the movie paused 3 minutes too long. “What are you talkin’ about honey? I’m just gonna check on Lucifer.” I called out. Foiled again!


nice!

“Whatever.” I thought I heard her say. So much for showin’ my appreciation for Ms. Shue. It’s alright, though. The Juice might not’ve been able to get one off in her honor. But, believe you me, when the Juice was nailin’ the missus the other day, it was all Ms. Shue. And I gotta admit, I was pretty dang good.



As a quick aside, the Juice was doin’ some figurin’ on the way home from puttin’ in another 8 so the Man can buy yet another house in some other erotic location. After doin’ some quick calculations, the Juice figured Elizabeth has got to be in her 40’s. I gotta tell ya, if that’s the case, then she seriously deserves a good crank in her honor. I guess the Juice could do a quick search to find out when she was born, but I figure I do enough for your people. Would it kill ya for once to do somethin for the Juice? Nah, never mind. Just go fuck yourself. I will do ya this one more favor. Until tomorrow,I'll leave you with one last partin’ thought:


that's exactly how the Juice likes his eggs