The most expensive mistake EVER!!!!!

So, the Juice saw this crazy article on the Internet today. I almost didn't think it was real. If I was a cartoon character, and in many ways I am, my eyeballs would be explodin' out of their sockets. In a nutshell, the head of NASA is sayin’ that the space shuttle program and the International Space Station were a mistake. Excuse me? What was that? A mistake? Ummmm…it took them 30 years to figure this out? Talk about an incredibly stupid statement. What’s wrong with these people? I don’t know what makes them more stupider. The fact that it took them 30 years to figure it out, or the fact that they admitted it. Oh, and by the by, this “mistake” cost us 150 billion dollars!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, yea…you read that right. The head of NASA just said that it’s 2 main programs, the shit they’ve been workin’ on day in and day, were a $150 billion dollars mistake. I gotta say, WTFMFF!!!!!!! Even if the programs were a mistake, do you have to announce it to the world? How much more stupid can we make the United States look? Does this genius need to have his head examined? Can’t the peeps at NASA just get together after work one night, have a few drinks and laugh about it like the rest of us when we screw up? Aren’t these NASA cats suppose to be super geniuses? If the space shuttle and the space station are truly mistakes, can’t they just quietly “retire “them as quickly as possible? Do we have to announce to the world that we’re fuckheads? That’s like the Juice admittin’ to my kids that havin’ them was a mistake. No matter how true the statement is, you never fucking announce it. Sure, the thought may bounce around in your head all day, every day, but you never announce it. C’mon!

And let me ask you this. Where’s the fucking PR firm behind this statement? Why can’t one of these PR cats pull this super genius aside before he opens his face and say “Hey, head of NASA. I don’t think it’s a good idear to tell the nation that your two main programs are a mistake. I think we should just brush this one under the carpet. ‘Cause there ain’t no positive spin on it. Whatdaya think? Maybe we should focus more on that Hubble telescope. Oh, that’s right. We’re lettin’ that investment burn up in the atmosphere. Hmmmm. Maybe we should consider you just keepin’ your word hole shut.”

On top of all that, this NASA official also had the nerve to say that the shuttle program “…was a design which was extremely aggressive and just barely possible.” Now, I ain’t no scientician. The closest the Juice has ever gotten to the shuttle was bein’ escorted off the premises of Cape Canaveral, but, is this dude kiddin’ me? “Extremely aggressive”? A drunk horny dude is “extremely aggressive”. The shuttle program? Not so much. Didn’t they get that fucker off the ground like a thousand times since 1980? And now those folks at NASA all the sudden are sayin’ the program is “just barely possible”???? And here the Juice was just thinkin’ the Shuttle program was dated. Aren’t these the same folks who “supposedly” threw that tin foil moon module to the moon, without a dang computer on it, almost 40 years ago? Aren’t these folks suppose to be visionaries? And now I read that NASA wants to go back to the old Apollo craft. Pimped out, of course. So much for that forward thinkin’, right?

Now, I know what you’re thinkin’. You’re thinkin’: “I don’t understand, the Juice. What do you mean ‘supposedly threw that tin foil moon module to the moon’? I learned in 7th grade history that Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon.” Yea…ok. I believe that. Let me just ask you this…have you ever seen the moon module? Like I said, it’s just fucking tin foil. You expect me to believe that thing made it through the vacuum of space? Uhhhh…right. We can’t even get a decent operatin’ system on our computers. And you’re gonna try to convince me that we put men on the moon 36 years ago? Weren’t they still usin’ abacus back then? So you’re tryin’ to tell me that the same people who watched The Man from U.N.C.LE. sent men out into the great blue beyond? That’s funny. The only way I’d believin’ we ever landed on the moon, is if aliens were involved. Then I’d consider it. Other wise, I can’t wait to see the real moon. I’m not sure any of this has anything to do with my argument, but whatever…

I guess I can’t really blame NASA. Some people take a bit longer to figure things out. Like, how many people are married for 15 – 20 years and one day realize, it’s a “mistake”. Or how about the jackass who works at the same company for 20 odd years, when he should have moved on 15 years ago. Then he wakes up one day, laid off cause the company downsized. That’s a “mistake”. I guess the difference is that those people didn’t waste 150 BILLION TAX PAYER DOLLARS finally realizin’ their mistakes.

Maybe the “problem” with the shuttle is that the folks at NASA just got a bit lazy. They were sendin’ that shuttle into orbit so many times, they got numb it to. You know. It gets borin’ after a while. It’s kinda like nailin’ the same broad everyday. Sure, it may be good once in a while, but let’s face it, most days you’re just punchin’ the clock. You could say the fundin’ wasn’t there, or whatever. The fact of the matter is that NASA let their guard down. And, unfortunately, that price had to be paid in people’s lives. It’s not that the shuttle program is old or unpredictable or whatever. That’s just the easy out. It’s easier to blame the program, then to look at ourselves, I suppose

The real answer? It’s time for NASA to close it’s doors. I know, it seems a bit of a shock. But, they had a good run. Today, though, space exploration belongs in the hands of private industry. Where the true visionaries lie. This way, us sucker taxpayers don’t get stuck with a 150 billion dollar mistake. Let NASA be consultants, I don’t care. But, the governmental sponsored space program has to go. No two ways about it. When you start makin’ stupid comments like that, it’s time to clean up the house, tell the strippers to go home and catch a few “z’s”.

I’ve got two words for them: Duh!