Two great tastes that taste great together...
...but one is better than the other
So, the Juice finally saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory over the weekend. And I'm sure you're wonderin' what I thought about it, but you're almost afraid to ask? Right? You're fears aren't justified. 'Cause for the most part, the Juice actually enjoyed it. Now, I’m pretty sure all of you out there in TV land automatically think that the movie sucks ‘cause I’m not goin' on endlessly about it. Well, it doesn’t totally suck. It was good. For the most part. I think.
A bit of history, first. In my review of Revenge of the Sith, the Juice talks about how people have ingrained the original trilogy into their psyche, making it part of them. How could any new Star Wars movie possibly compare to the original trilogy on that level? It can’t. Since it can’t, then people just assume that the new movies suck or that George lost his touch, "George can’t write. Blah, blah, blah." You get the picture. When, in fact the new Star Wars movies may be good (or the may be bad which they are), but the fans can’t judge the movies for what they are…new movies. So, what's this have to do with they way French woman don't shave thier legs? Remove your panties from your ass and read on...
Well, much of that can be said about Charlie/Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. People have seen Willy Wonka over and over again for the last 30 odd years. You can’t possibly compare the new movie to the original on that scale. It ain't a fair assessment. That’s why the Juice likes the new movie bein' named after Ronald Dahl’s book, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. This way, if ya got a brain in your head, ya gotta assume that you're seein' somethin' new, not just a regurigation of an existin' product.
Hang in there. I'm gettin' to it. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is one of the Juice's favorite movies. Don't get me wrong. There's shit in the movie that is just that...shit. Pretty much the whole first half of the movie is like watchin' someone get his teeth scraped. And Charlie? Dang, he's such a pussy in the movie. But the worst? Grandpa Joe and the other grandparents. I swear to the Christ, those grandparents get on the Juice's nerves somethin' fierce. And the Juice ain't sufferin' from ageism or anythin'. Or, maybe I am.
I'll giva ya that there are some parts in the beginnin' of Willy Wonka that are fuckin' funny. Like all the folks fightin' over the candy bars. I love the scene with woman who’s husband has been kidnapped. And the kidnappers want her box of Wonka Bars. All of the sudden, this hysterical bitch has to think twice about it. Nice! Shit...for a golden ticket? The Juice wouldn't have to think twice. Take the missus, please!!! Of course Gene Wilder is pure fuckin'genius in the movie. He owns the movie, like a pimp own a whore. In fact, if it weren’t for Wilder, I seriously doubt anyone would know anythin' about this movie today.
Which finally brings me to Charlie and the Chocolate factory. With this movie everythin' the Juice didn’t like about the original, I love about the new. Charlie? Not a douche bag. You almost give a shit about him. He's got a better "story" in the new movie. And what of the grandparents? They're so cute and cuddly that ya could hung them, or you would if they weren’t so…old. And ya don’t get the annoyin' feelin' that Charlie should get the factory just because he’s poor. But, that the kid actually EARNS it. As for the special effects, the sets, etc they are all wicked cool. All those years of sufferin' through the original's crappy effect, pinin' for a remake so they can make the factory as it should be, definitely pay off here.
The new movie also lacks that hokey 70’s warmth of the original. The new movie ain't so much "dark", as it is uncomfortably twisted? There’s definitely some funky shit goin' on in that factory, but ya ain't sure what. Hold onto your hats as the Juice gets a bit philosophical on your ass. I believe all that "uneasiness" is more a sign of the times, then anything else. But, I digress. As for the rest of the winnin' kids, they seem a bit flat in the new movie, it's probably intentional, though. It ain't like the kids are that fleshed out in the original, either.
You know it's comin'. Like that horrifyin old woman said in the 80's..."What's the beef?" Well, I'll tell ya. I wasn’t crazy about Johnny Depp as Wonka. I was hopin' that Depp was gonna play Wonka different. He was so fuckin' weird. Like uncomfortable. I don’t think that it’s all Depp’s fault. It's probably how that "genius" Tim Burton wanted him to be played. The Juice just don't get Tim Burton. Maybe I ain't "artsy" enough to understand the dude's "vision". But, his movies general suck.
Burton tacked on a back-story to Wonka. Which has him at “odds” with his dentist father who doesn’t like candy (when in doubt, give the character daddy issues). So, Wonka is real kid-like, but in a cooped up, Howard Hughes kinda way. Not in that fun, sarcastic Gene Widler kinda way. The Juice was just expectin' more "zingers". More inanity. More whimsy. More dryness. C'mon! But those annoyin' kids in their place for the love of Christ's blue planet!
So, in a battle royal between Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory which movie wins? Charlie, hands down. Weren't expectin' that we're ya. The creamy goodness of Charlie far out weighs the bad parts. I could see myself fast forwardin' less of Charlie than I do of Willy Wonka.
In either case, they're both just movies. So get a friggin life!
So, the Juice finally saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory over the weekend. And I'm sure you're wonderin' what I thought about it, but you're almost afraid to ask? Right? You're fears aren't justified. 'Cause for the most part, the Juice actually enjoyed it. Now, I’m pretty sure all of you out there in TV land automatically think that the movie sucks ‘cause I’m not goin' on endlessly about it. Well, it doesn’t totally suck. It was good. For the most part. I think.
A bit of history, first. In my review of Revenge of the Sith, the Juice talks about how people have ingrained the original trilogy into their psyche, making it part of them. How could any new Star Wars movie possibly compare to the original trilogy on that level? It can’t. Since it can’t, then people just assume that the new movies suck or that George lost his touch, "George can’t write. Blah, blah, blah." You get the picture. When, in fact the new Star Wars movies may be good (or the may be bad which they are), but the fans can’t judge the movies for what they are…new movies. So, what's this have to do with they way French woman don't shave thier legs? Remove your panties from your ass and read on...
Well, much of that can be said about Charlie/Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. People have seen Willy Wonka over and over again for the last 30 odd years. You can’t possibly compare the new movie to the original on that scale. It ain't a fair assessment. That’s why the Juice likes the new movie bein' named after Ronald Dahl’s book, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. This way, if ya got a brain in your head, ya gotta assume that you're seein' somethin' new, not just a regurigation of an existin' product.
Hang in there. I'm gettin' to it. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is one of the Juice's favorite movies. Don't get me wrong. There's shit in the movie that is just that...shit. Pretty much the whole first half of the movie is like watchin' someone get his teeth scraped. And Charlie? Dang, he's such a pussy in the movie. But the worst? Grandpa Joe and the other grandparents. I swear to the Christ, those grandparents get on the Juice's nerves somethin' fierce. And the Juice ain't sufferin' from ageism or anythin'. Or, maybe I am.
I'll giva ya that there are some parts in the beginnin' of Willy Wonka that are fuckin' funny. Like all the folks fightin' over the candy bars. I love the scene with woman who’s husband has been kidnapped. And the kidnappers want her box of Wonka Bars. All of the sudden, this hysterical bitch has to think twice about it. Nice! Shit...for a golden ticket? The Juice wouldn't have to think twice. Take the missus, please!!! Of course Gene Wilder is pure fuckin'genius in the movie. He owns the movie, like a pimp own a whore. In fact, if it weren’t for Wilder, I seriously doubt anyone would know anythin' about this movie today.
Which finally brings me to Charlie and the Chocolate factory. With this movie everythin' the Juice didn’t like about the original, I love about the new. Charlie? Not a douche bag. You almost give a shit about him. He's got a better "story" in the new movie. And what of the grandparents? They're so cute and cuddly that ya could hung them, or you would if they weren’t so…old. And ya don’t get the annoyin' feelin' that Charlie should get the factory just because he’s poor. But, that the kid actually EARNS it. As for the special effects, the sets, etc they are all wicked cool. All those years of sufferin' through the original's crappy effect, pinin' for a remake so they can make the factory as it should be, definitely pay off here.
The new movie also lacks that hokey 70’s warmth of the original. The new movie ain't so much "dark", as it is uncomfortably twisted? There’s definitely some funky shit goin' on in that factory, but ya ain't sure what. Hold onto your hats as the Juice gets a bit philosophical on your ass. I believe all that "uneasiness" is more a sign of the times, then anything else. But, I digress. As for the rest of the winnin' kids, they seem a bit flat in the new movie, it's probably intentional, though. It ain't like the kids are that fleshed out in the original, either.
You know it's comin'. Like that horrifyin old woman said in the 80's..."What's the beef?" Well, I'll tell ya. I wasn’t crazy about Johnny Depp as Wonka. I was hopin' that Depp was gonna play Wonka different. He was so fuckin' weird. Like uncomfortable. I don’t think that it’s all Depp’s fault. It's probably how that "genius" Tim Burton wanted him to be played. The Juice just don't get Tim Burton. Maybe I ain't "artsy" enough to understand the dude's "vision". But, his movies general suck.
Burton tacked on a back-story to Wonka. Which has him at “odds” with his dentist father who doesn’t like candy (when in doubt, give the character daddy issues). So, Wonka is real kid-like, but in a cooped up, Howard Hughes kinda way. Not in that fun, sarcastic Gene Widler kinda way. The Juice was just expectin' more "zingers". More inanity. More whimsy. More dryness. C'mon! But those annoyin' kids in their place for the love of Christ's blue planet!
So, in a battle royal between Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory which movie wins? Charlie, hands down. Weren't expectin' that we're ya. The creamy goodness of Charlie far out weighs the bad parts. I could see myself fast forwardin' less of Charlie than I do of Willy Wonka.
In either case, they're both just movies. So get a friggin life!
posted by the Juice at 7:21 PM
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