Finally!!!! Tales from the Vacation. Part 7 of too many

By the Juice

I know that I’ve taken a long dang time with this installment of Tales from the Vacation. There is a perfectly good reason for it. See, the Juice was tryin’ to dosome fancy stuff. Stuff that was way above the Juice’s rather low intelligence level. I was tryin’ to “code’ some coffeescript into this so you got some surprises when you moved your mouse over the images. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. The Juice ain’t no scientician. So, just like everything else I do in life, the post is not just half-assed. It’s hole assed. See for yourself...


Recap: part 1, part 2, the first half of part 3, the second half of part 3, part 4 , part 5, and part 5.5, and part 6. Now it's on with the show...


So my oldest is sufferin' from a mean case of diarrhea and I missed gettin' onto the soft openin' of Soarin'. That’d be enough to ruin any day, right? I mean if you were me (and you best thank the Christ that you’re not) you be ballin’ your eyes out like the red-headed step bitch you know you still are. But for the Juice, the worst was about to come.

I’ll be honest, I was gettin’ worried. ‘Cause I knew that mythical Disney vacation breakin' point was up on the horizon. Now Disney tries to down play that breakin' point. You never read about it in their beautifully crafted literature and DVDs. They're crafty fucks! But you best believe it happens.


It was around Sara’s 7th trip to the bathroom that Lucifer started to meltdown. I don’t blame him so much. I wouldn’t want to be stuck in a stroller all dang day. He had one of the biggest shit fits I’d ever seen. And believe you me, I’ve seen some shit fits. I’ve got a few kids remember? There was just no way the little bastard was gettin' hisself happy.

But rather than use words to describe how perfectly awesome this baby's meltdown was, I've got for you an artist (albeit a sucky one) re-creation of actual events. No baby seals were harmed in this re-creation. A special element had been added to your viewing pleasure. The images you are about to witness, again, are re-creations of actual events. If you click on the image, you’ll get an idea of what the Juice was thinkin' about durin' that particular part of Lucifer’s shit fit. Consider this the closet thing to jackin’ into the Juice’s head. You’ve been warned…

and then there was this beautiful moment...

oh, this part was stellar...

This last part ended several hours later. And I ain't fuckin' ya. Although, if you're hot, and you're a chick, I would certainly consider it. Dudes and the ugly need not apply.

As I said, Lucifer was one unhappy camper. Sure, he calmed down for a minute here, a second there. Just long enough for the Juice to collect what remained of his sanity. But, then it was right back to the mind fuckin'. And what of Sara? Don't worry, after about the 17th trip to the bathroom, she finally stopped crappin'. Here's a tip for ya, DON'T DRINK THE FLORIDA WATER.

And Lucifer? He eventually calmed down. Yea, i think it was about 2 days ago...


Ya'know there's more funny shit. Like how Barbara and Jethro bitched non-stop at each other, and at me and the missus, while the whole meltdown/shitfest was goin' down. But already I've put way too much effort into this fuck post. This is days we're talkin' here. Days! So, the Juice is sayin'it's the end. And I'll tell you what, if you're thinkin' what a big waste of time, or that this post sucked, then I'd have to agree with you. And you thought I was gonna tell you to go fuck yousself. Ah, what the hell...Go fuck yourself. See you next time!!!!