Emails, emails and more emails

by the Juice

I get a lot of emails. I try to ignore as many as possible. But, as I was walkin’ the ol’ trailer park at midnight huntin' skinks, God sent me down 'nother idear. He suggested that I start answerin' my emails. I'm not sayin' that god actually spoke to me. At least I’m not admittin' it here. I'm just sayin' it wasn't my idear. So, if it sucks you know who to send your emails to.


And so we begin with a recent email from Dizknee Nut. He/she/it writes:

hey bruce. you say you’re a fan of all things Disney. if you are, you have a funny way of showing it. you seem to be more down on Disney than anything. what gives?

Well, Dizknee Nut, you can go fuck yourself. How’s that bein’ down on somethin’? But, to answer your question. Yes, it does seem that I’m a bit down on Disney. But, I really do love the place. In fact, comin’ soon I’ll prove to you that I really like the place. I’m gonna do a series highlightin’ the things I like about Disney World. Probably after I finish Tales from the Vacation series and The Kingdom of Magic Isn’t for Kids series. Or maybe I’ll throw it in there between posts. Who knows? Until I figure it out, I standby my statement. Go fuck yourself.

Next up we’ve got a question from Pharkus57:

S’up Juice. Know what I hate? There's always that one chick that you work with that is so fucking hot. Know what I hate more? When you know she’s hot for you. She's all flirty and all and you want nothing more than to grab that sweet, bare ass. Man, that would be sweet. But you can’t cause you’ve got a wife and kid. God, I hate that.

Yes, my friend I hate it also. Know what I hate more than that, though? It’s that moment when you realize that you’ll never fuck another chick again. Hot or otherwise. It creeps up on you like leprosy. One moment you’re fine, the next you realized how truly doomed you are. Either way, nothin’ more you can do, though. Especially if you like your money, house, car and that stamp collection of yours. My suggestion? Keep on crankin’


And finally MarshallTuckerTree asks:

hey the juice. love the blog. especially the not takin the kids to disney posts. adding the pics to your posts really enhances my experience. do you have pics of the missus or the kids or your lawyer?


Well MarshallTuckerTree, I do have pictures of the missus, the kids and my lawyer. Thanks for asking.


Keep on sendin’ those emails. I’ll get to them eventually. Probably, not though.